The young reindeer of FC Santa Claus had led the club into Finland’s top tier for the first time and sent the club into Europe for the 2025 campaign. Kris Kringle was very happy with his young team and chairperson Papa Elf was very happy with his manager with two exceptions: his inability to spend the club’s sizeable transfer budget and sign high profile players.
Kringle didn’t need to sign anyone and certainly couldn’t spend the money available to him. He did at least make some effort to bring in higher profile players, making bids for the likes of Jude Bellingham, who wanted a ludicrous minimum fee release. He eventually settled on signing Lautaro Martínez on a free transfer then turned to young prospects in Endrick for £7m from Madrid, Valentin Barco for £6.5m from Boca, Ben Doak for a Finnish record £13.5m from Ipswich, Adriano Onyegbule for £3.5m from Basel, website hero Cosimo Marco Da Graca on a free and backup goalkeeper Dennis Seimen for £9m from Stuttgart to address nonsense concerns about “strength in depth.” Then mid-season he added Sebastián Boselli for defensive strength for up to £17m from River.
But the reason Kringle didn’t really need to sign anyone was their starting players were ludicrously good, as proven by star striker Rudolph Red-Nosed Reindeer winning European Golden Boy and centre back Blitzen Reindeer, who was arguably their worst player last season, winning U21 Player of the Year. In other news, Papa Elf was seemingly a bit bored over the winter break. So he decided Santa’s Grotto needed expanding, announcing plans to blow £81m on increasing the capacity to 192,797.
First Taste Of Finnish Top Tier
Season 2 again began with a broken leg, this time for winger Prancer Reindeer, then a cruciate injury to his potential replacement Doak. It also started with another warmup cup, this time the Veikkayliiga Liigacup. Lautaro and Doak scored on debut as FC Santa Claus hammered llves 6-0. They dominated the group, beat Lahti 2-1 in the semis then saw off HJK 5-3 in the final led by Rudolph’s hat trick.
That set Kringle’s team up nicely for their first taste of Veikkausliiga, which they began with a 4-1 win at KuPS courtesy of goals by midfielder Cupid Reindeer, Lautaro, Rudolph and giant striker Comet Reindeer. That was backed up by destroying Lahti 7-0 led by Rudolph hitting a hat trick to move to 100 goals for the club and Endrick’s 1st. And a 5-1 hammering of HJK set the tone for a flying start.
FC Santa Claus grew into the season, including a 12-0 and 48 shot annihilation of SJK, led by both Rudolph and Comet scoring hat tricks and Endrick and Lautaro braces, and a 10-0 win over AC Oulu in which winger Dancer Reindeer got goal and assist hat tricks. They went on to again win all 22 league games, scoring 141 en route, to win their maiden Finnish title before the Championsip Group began.
FC Santa Claus were Champions of Finland!
They finished the league off in style with five more wins and 17 more goals in the group stage, winning the league by 25 points. Rudolph was the star man, smashing the league record of 33 goals set by Valeri Popovitch in 1991 as he bagged 43 goals in 24 games. While Dancer scored 23 goals and got 26 assists and Father Christmas kept 16 clean sheets.
FC Santa Claus also cruised into the Suomen Cup Final and crushed VPS 11-0! Dancer’s hat trick led the way as they stamped their authority on Finnish football with a domestic treble.
FC Santa Claus in Europe!
FC Santa Claus’ European journey began in the Conference League 2nd qualifying round against Ukrainian side SC Dnipro-1. They began at home and took their goalscoring form into Europe with a Conference League record 9-1 demolition then a fully rotated side of kids lost 2-1 away, which saw Kringle fail to win a game for the first time in his 69th game at the club. Next up was Hungarian side Gyor, who were dismissed 6-3 away then 5-0 at back at the Grotto led by a Da Graca brace.
That set up arguably the most difficult tie in FC Santa Claus history against Belgian side Gent. Rudolph got injured in training before the first leg but Lautaro replace him and scored twice alongside Endrick and Vixen goals earning a 4-2 win in Belgium. He then bagged a hat trick at home for an 8-3 aggregate win to send FC Santa Claus into the group stage, where they got an intriguing set of fixtures.
The European group extended FC Santa Claus’ season to 11 months, having started on 18 January. They started at home to FC Rapid and cruised to a 3-0 win courtesy of centre back Donner Reindeer and Comet strikes then penalty-taking goalie Father Christmas. A trip to Basel was made easier by a 5th-minute red card and they cruised to a 4-0 win through Lautaro, Comet, Prancer and Endrick. The dominance continued with a 6-1 hammering of Slovan Bratislava, a 4-1 win at Tobyl led by Rudolph’s brace and a 12-0 demolition of 10-man Gorica with winger Dasher Reindeer getting 5 assists and 9 different scorers. And a final day 3-1 win at Lech wrapped up 1st place in the group.
Our destruction of Europe’s big teams continued as Arsenal, Newcastle and City were relegated, the latter having gone into administration, while Crystal Palace won their first-ever English title. Down in the Championship, Man UFC and Liverpool also went into administration and were relegated again along with Spurs. Bayern also went down in 2. Bundesliga, Milan got 0 points and Inter 6 points in Serie B while PSG again got 0 points in Ligue 2.
With another treble in the bag, including a maiden Finnish title, FC Santa Claus were really firing. But could they add European glory to the mix in 2026? Join us tomorrow (Christmas Eve) at 11am to find out!
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